Understanding Grief

Many situations can arise during a time of bereavement in which there is a risk of harm to you or someone else as a result of your grief. Common risks have to do with physiological and psychological disruption.

Sleep and appetite disruption are extremely common to bereavement. Disrupted sleep patterns vary, but most people get less sleep than usual. Lack of appetite is the more common experience with respect to eating. Though less common, some individuals find that they are sleeping significantly longer than usual, and may even retreat to the haven of sleep in response to loss and grief. As with sleep, some individuals may experience an increase in appetite including eating as a form of comfort, and binge eating associated with feelings of loss of control. On occasion sleep and appetite disruption can become dangerous. Loss of sleep can affect so much of our daily wellness. Sleeplessness for even a few days can have serious consequences. Loss of appetite resulting in significant weight loss can pose a real threat too.

Poor concentration resulting from grief can have dangerous consequences when accidents occur because of it. “Fender benders” while driving are well known to the bereaved, as are other mishaps. Limiting or halting driving and other potentially dangerous activities until your usual attention and concentration returns may be wise.

A very serious risk is when the anger experienced in response to our loss becomes violent. Violent actions may be spontaneous eruptions of our anger that surprise us, or outbursts that overtake us after the anger has been brewing for some time. Whether directed at others or our self, violence is a dangerous outcome of grief warranting immediate attention. Professional help should be sought immediately.

Suicide is a real risk during bereavement, though not a common one. Many people feel a desire to be with or join the one who has died. Some lose their energy for life, and may not care if something were to occur to cause their own death. These are common grief reactions. Thoughts of suicide accompanied by self-reproach, or a suicide plan with the intention and means to carry it out call for immediate action. With professional help to work through the difficult feelings associated with the loss, suicidal feelings usually subside and harm can be avoided.

These and other situations with a risk of harm can arise from the intense reactions we experience in response to the loss of someone significant to us. If you experience anything that could be, or already is, dangerous to you or someone else, professional help should be acquired.

The assistance of a knowledgeable professional can greatly diminish your suffering and risk of harm, and facilitate your healthy progression through this difficult and painful grief.