Understanding Grief

Mourning can transform and ease the pain of grief. To a large degree we live in a society in which the experience of grief is not considered to be of value. Many people lack traditional mourning rituals. Finding guidance for mourning can require effort. As a result, many of us find ourselves grieving without any means for fostering a healthy progression to a less painful and disabling experience.

Mourning is intentional activities. Whether traditional or personal, they acknowledge the importance of the deceased and the loss of them. Mourning activities are an opportunity to grieve. They can be a means for sharing the pain and disruption caused by a death.

Traditional rituals can have personal significance and be deeply comforting if relevant to the bereaved. Mourning with a community adds support and lessens isolation.

Personalized mourning is helpful too. Creating a piece of art or poetry, going to a support group, a personalized ceremony, and establishing some kind of a memorial are examples of personalized ways of mourning.

Establishing designated times to mourn affirms the significance of the deceased and our shared life. It is a way of acknowledging that we have suffered the loss and there is good reason for our grief. It facilitates a diminishment of our pain. Mourning helps with accepting the current reality of life without the deceased, and adjusting our life to this new reality.

Within days or weeks bereaved people often hear that they must “move on” with their life. This conveys the message to act as if you are unaffected and not in pain. The healthy way we “move on” is to mourn.